Goodbye Blogger! x

Thank you everyone who's been reading my blog since I first opened it. 2 years worth of good memories! But blogger's really screwing up all my posts so I've moved on to Wordpress where things are a thousand times more simpler. (Either that or I'm just really dumb when it comes to using Blogger.)
If you like reading my senseless posts and what not, you can read them at my Wordpress site.
http://undauntedsouls.wordpress.com/
Bye Blogger! ;) x

Sup

Hi. So... My dad put parental controls on my computer again... I won't be able to blog that often ): I've got to use the guest account just to blog so yeah. (See what I do for my blog?) Anyway... Life's been, swell? Exams are over, I got promoted to Sec Two, hooray! Summer's here and my English course starts tomorrow... Heading to Singapore on July 15th and coming back on August 15th. Gonna go for a cruise with momsie and visit my relatives in M'sia! MBF (No I'm not telling you who he is) is coming back from his holidays soon yay :) Can't wait to go back to Singapore to see Su Hyun, all my neighbours, see my dear MCS & YCK friends :') Especially that sei chun (secret lalala) haha okaaaaay that's like, my Summer plans?
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2 days ago... My beloved uncle... Left us. He's gone to stay with God and I'm happy that he's in safe hands. I wasn't very close to him but he has helped my mom and I in many ways. Knowing that he's suddenly gone... I haven't seen him since CNY and I can't even attend the funeral. Nonetheless, people are bound to leave someday and if God thought that it was time for him to leave then... I'm glad. :)
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I've been thinking a lot lately. I don't want to hold on anymore because, it feels pointless to. I honestly don't want to go through the same thing all over again, man, I'm tired and I'm sick of all that drama. I guess I keep telling myself that it's going to pay off in the future, but what if it doesn't? Then doesn't that mean that I've been wasting my time? I know what it's like to hold on to something that'll never be yours and... I don't want to do that again. It's ridiuclous.
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"It's like once you get hurt, you build these walls around you that you think will keep you from getting hurt again. You won't let anyone past them. You pass up good people and good opportunities because you're reminded of what happened to you in the past. But you're not the only hurting. You're hurting others, because they don't understand why they can't be part of your life. Just remember that one day you're going to have to get the strength to let these walls down if you ever want to be truly happy again."

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My walls were built pretty goddamn high. Then, I lowered it, just a tad. Let someone new in, thinking that, hey, why not? Then... everything tumbles down on me again. Now, my walls are higher, stronger and behind those walls, stands a little fragile girl who's just afraid of letting history repeat itself.
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"Yes, I'm scared, yes I'm jealous, I'm scared that you think she's pretty, I'm scared that you find her more interesting, I'm scared that you think she's so much better than me, I'm scared that you're gonna leave me soon. And yes, I'm jealous that she gets to see you, I'm jealous that you talked to her, I'm jealous that you had fun with her. I'm scared... I'm jealous. But that's only because you mean a lot to me. I'm scared that I'll lose you. I'm so scared that I won't matter as much to you. I'm so scared that we just won't be the same again. I'm so scared that everything's gonna change. So promise me. Promise me you won't leave. Because when I'm talking to you, you're the only person that exists in my world."

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I'm insecure, over sensitive, but what can I do about it? I'll pretend that I'm happy for you two, I'll pretend that I'm fine with it but lol, honestly, I'm not.

"But she said she's happy for me."

"Of course she's gonna say she's happy for you and fake a smile, but look deep into those eyes, you broke her."

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I've got this mindset that, the best memories in life can never be replaced unless better ones are created. The best memories I've ever had are still lingering in my mind, I can't stop thinking about it, I don't know why. Sometimes I go all selfish and ask myself why I even bother helping them, why do I even care, it's not like it'll benefit me. Ugh this is so frustrating. If I never met you, if I never bothered talking to you, none of this would've happened. Why do I keep bringing things upon myself wtf. .... Then again, you've given me countless of happy memories, many devastating ones too of course, so I guess I'm happy that I got to know you.
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We all think that we're not good enough for somebody. I mean, I can never picture someone, looking at their phone and smiling, thinking about me, wishing that I could be theirs. Lol, that thought is absurb. It'd be nice to be someone's top priority wouldn't it? To be the first person that comes to mind when someone wakes up, to be the person who someone daydreams about all day, to be the first person that someone wants to talk to, the only person someone wants to talk to all day everyday. You'd feel so special, so appreciated, so... loved.
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"At some point you will realize that you have done too much for someone or something, that the only next possible step to do is to stop. Leave them alone. Walk away. It's not like you're giving up, it's not like you shouldn't try. It's just that you have to draw the line of determination from desperation. What is truly yours would eventually be yours, and what is not, no matter how hard you try, will never be."

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I promised I'd never leave. But yet I feel that if I don't try to distance myself, I'll never get over it. You've given me a reason to hold on but yet... How can I be sure that I'll appear in your future? Right now she's the one that you want and... I don't know. I feel like I ought to give up but for some reason, I just can't.

"I want to forget him. Like, right now, but I can't."

"There's really no shortcut to forgetting someone. You just have to endure missing them everyday until you don't anymore."

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Bye and have a great Summer! ;) x

Godspell #1

Hi, quick update.
My Godspell dance audition is in EXACTLY 1 hour and 40 minutes from now.
I'm really nervous, really scared. There's gonna be a lot of professionals there who've been in tons of different perfoamnces/musicals and they have a whole lot of experience. And me? I shuffled across the school plaza and the carpet leading to VSA's hall. I'm really scared that I'm going to end up looking like a total noob there. I actually really want to get in and feel what it's like to be part of something important. I've always been too shy to take part in certain things but you know, life's short :)  I'm praying so hard that I won't awkwardly embarrass myself there. I hope I do well enough for them to let me go through the auditions.
Wish me luck!

Pleasurable disgrace

It's annoying and frustrating how teenagers at the age of like... 16? 17? 18? Or worse, younger. Go around, get wasted, get laid and BAM, pregnant with some dude's baby. Most of them just go, "AH I HAVE A BABYYYY, I'm going to abort it." 2 words my friend, FUCK YOU. Hello, it's like, a bloody LIFE we're talking about here. That baby is NOT a toy. That baby is NOT a piece of garbage. That baby, YOUR baby, is NOT a piece of leftover from the mess you made when you got a dude to stick a dick up your vagina. Don't you think it's so irresponsible when girls just want to abort their babies? And guys don't even bother taking up the responsibility, they just leave the girl. Just like that. It's a life that deserves to be lived. Do you actually have the heart to just, take a way a life, such an innocent life that was blessed by God, before he/she even saw their first ray of sunlight? It's DISGRACEFUL. It's SHAMEFUL. Heck care what you think, heck care what the society thinks, HECK ARE ABOUT THE PAIN. You're responsible for your own actions. Don't let an innocent baby take all the burden. At least give he/she up for adoption -_- In the first place, you shouldn't even have underage sex. That's just wrong.

Why do people like to cheat with others. Like, seriously. What the fuck man. You can't just go around and flirt with others like there's no tomorrow. I have a friend, let's call her... Amy? And there's another girl. Called, Carina? And one guy called Ben. All made up names by the way, don't even try to guess who they are. Amy's a good friend of mine and recently she's become really close friends with Ben. Ben broke up with his girlfriend, Carina but still has a bit of feelings for her. However, he's been really.. buddy buddy(?) with Amy and she's never felt this way before. She starts liking Ben and he seems to start taking interest in her too. Carina sees all this and starts getting jealous and upset, all that bullshit. She just doesn't like the fact that her ex is now with another girl while she's single. DAFUQ RIGHT. Then this stupid, idiotic, RETARDED DICKHEAD, Ben, son of a bitch I say, suggests that they get back together after their exams. Ben starts ignoring Amy and says, "Sorry I have to talk to Carina." I'd give that jerk a fucking punch in the face if I could. Amy's upset, like really upset. She really liked this douche, Ben but apparently he fails to see that someone as good as her is better than Carina. It's really saddening. Everytime Amy sees Ben, she goes all happy and smiles. She got really upset once (before this happened) but just because Ben waved to her and talked to her for awhile, she instantly became happy. JUST LIKE THAT. You can tell how much Amy likes Ben. And she's almost never online but because of Ben, she's online all the time. She doesn't enjoy staying back after school either but she does it just for him. But this douchebag, Ben fails to realize how much she's doing for him. I mean, I know it's not a lot but she's changed because of him.

I honestly don't get why some girls. Okay, why some PEOPLE, can't just realize that the person they're with just isn't the right one for them. Why are you still with a person who flirts with the opposite sex and takes you for granted? Seriously? You choose to like this one person who makes you so upset when there's one person out there who can make you feel at the top of the world. What logic is that? It's not worth it. It's quite stupid actually. Hah, then again, what am I saying? I liked a guy who wasn't worth my time. I took like, what, 5 months to get over him? The human heart is so fickle. 

Glimpse into the future #2

Carrying on from my Glimpse into the future post a few weeks back.
Wake up, go to school, study, come home, study, break, study, break, study, sleep.

Wake up, go to school, study, come home, study, break, study, break, study, sleep.

Wake up, go to school, study, come home, study, break, study, break, study, sleep.

Wake up, go to school, study, come home, study, break, study, break, study, sleep.

Wake up, go to school, study, come home, study, break, study, break, study, sleep.

Wake up, relax, study, relax, study, study, relax, stay up, sleep.

Wake up, relax, study, relax, study, study, relax, stay up, sleep.

That's an average week for a student right? You're a student for how many years? At least 15. 

Elementary, High School, College, University. And you study for? Right. To get a job. To succeed in life. To earn money. To make your parents proud. You live your own life for 15 years working so hard like a robot then you go and get a job.

Wake up, go to work, come back, eat, relax, work, work, work, sleep.

Wake up, go to work, come back, eat, relax, work, work, work, sleep.

Wake up, go to work, come back, eat, relax, work, work, work, sleep.

Wake up, go to work, come back, eat, relax, work, work, work, sleep.

Wake up, go to work, come back, eat, relax, work, work, work, sleep.

Wake up, relax, relax,work, work, work, work, relax, work, work.

Wake up, relax, relax,work, work, work, work, relax, work, work.

That's an average life for an adult, correct me if I'm wrong. Why? To earn money for your bills. For your parents. And how long do you work? Till you die/reach the age of 60 or whatever the retirement age is. And BAM, 60 years of your life completely wasted. What do you do next? You're too old to go out partying, getting wasted and fooling around. All you do is just sit at home and watch old dramas and helping your children out finacially. What else do you do? Sleep? Shit? Eat? That's it. THAT'S. IT. Then you die. So I ask all of you. Really, 

What's the use?

Glimpse into the future #2

Carrying on from my Glimpse into the future post a few weeks back.
Wake up, go to school, study, come home, study, break, study, break, study, sleep.

Wake up, go to school, study, come home, study, break, study, break, study, sleep.

Wake up, go to school, study, come home, study, break, study, break, study, sleep.

Wake up, go to school, study, come home, study, break, study, break, study, sleep.

Wake up, go to school, study, come home, study, break, study, break, study, sleep.

Wake up, relax, study, relax, study, study, relax, stay up, sleep.

Wake up, relax, study, relax, study, study, relax, stay up, sleep.

That's an average week for a student right? You're a student for how many years? At least 15. 

Elementary, High School, College, University. And you study for? Right. To get a job. To succeed in life. To earn money. To make your parents proud. You live your own life for 15 years working so hard like a robot then you go and get a job.

Wake up, go to work, come back, eat, relax, work, work, work, sleep.

Wake up, go to work, come back, eat, relax, work, work, work, sleep.

Wake up, go to work, come back, eat, relax, work, work, work, sleep.

Wake up, go to work, come back, eat, relax, work, work, work, sleep.

Wake up, go to work, come back, eat, relax, work, work, work, sleep.

Wake up, relax, relax,work, work, work, work, relax, work, work.

Wake up, relax, relax,work, work, work, work, relax, work, work.

That's an average life for an adult, correct me if I'm wrong. Why? To earn money for your bills. For your parents. And how long do you work? Till you die/reach the age of 60 or whatever the retirement age is. And BAM, 60 years of your life completely wasted. What do you do next? You're too old to go out partying, getting wasted and fooling around. All you do is just sit at home and watch old dramas and helping your children out finacially. What else do you do? Sleep? Shit? Eat? That's it. THAT'S. IT. Then you die. So I ask all of you. Really, 

What's the use?

Thousand apologies

BACK IN BUSINESS BABY.
Haha yay I've finally got my blog back, anyone missed me? ;)
Lots of people have been telling me to blog about my Xi'An trip back in March but I'm sorry, I've forgotten all about it. But I promise to blog about my next WoW trip in Secondary 2!
Truly sorry for neglecting my blog and not asking my dad to release the parental controls earlier.
Quick update on my life since all of you are such stalkers HAHA JUST KIDDING.
I've got my SA2's in 2 weeks and I'm freaking out but I don't seem to be doing anything about it.
I've got a Summer programme in July, something related to Stanford, hah can't remember.
Back in March, like on March 31st, we had Sports Day and I got in for all my track events plus Javelin. Guess what. I WON AAAAALLLL! Okay not first place. Javelin- Bronze.  400m & 100m- Silver. 4x100m & 20th Anniversary race- Gold. Yep 5 medals my friends, all in one day and heck yeah I'm proud.
I've auditioned for a musical, "Godspell". Audition is this Sunday and I'm scared because I think that I'm going to look like such a loser with all the other pro dancers. Wish me luck!!!
And lastly, I've joined Nuffnang! You know, that thingamajig you see on top of my blog? Hopefully my blog will be popular enough to get selected for events and all. Nuffnang offers amazing things :)
It's Mother's Day today! What are you guys doing for your momsie? My mom's in Singapore, unforuntately. Can't spend Mother's Day with her, *le sobs*
I want to find a friend who's a glutton like me and just roam town with that friend and eat desserts from all sorts of shops. It might not just be one friend, it could be a whole group but I prefer just two people hahah, I'm like that. So if I ever do go around town, I'll be sure to bombard all of you with a ton of pictures :)
So many good movies coming out recently. Have you guys watch Marvel; The Avengers Assemble? IF YOU HAVEN'T YOU SHOULD. It's like the best movie ever made known to man, in my opinion.
I love Iron Man heheh he's so cool. I still want to watch Battleship, The Lorax, Titanic 3D, Dark Tide and Dark Shadows. Would you believe me if I told you I've never watched Titanic? Ever? Haha because I haven't. Oh well, I hope Dark Shadows will still be showing in cinemas when my exams are over. Like the second week of June. I highly doubt it but I've got my fingers crossed x
So I've got this whole stack of homework literally just WAITING for me. All due tomorrow gah, hate school. Thank you to everyone who still remembers my blog! So nice of all of you to keep pestering me to blog awww. But hey, like I said, I'M BACK IN BUSINESS ;)

Glimpse into the future

Sorry I haven’t blogged in forever.

This morning, I woke up thinking, “Oh goodness, it’s a Sunday morning, school tomorrow.” Then I realized that this routine’s gonna just keep on going every single day till I graduate and even then, I still have to face university and carry on the same routine. 2 days of rest per week and waking up bright in the morning on weekdays. It’s the same thing, Every. Single. Day. Then there’s homework, you get new ones every single day and you probably lose them a week after. We’re human beings, we’re not robots. Sure this is for education and we can’t do anything about it now but we can do something about it in the future if we try. In a few years when you’re done with all your studies, graduated from university, what are you going to be? A businessman? If so, do you realize you’ll still be working everyday and you’ll be loaded with even more work. What are you doing all this for? For fame? Money? Why do you need all that? To buy things? Superficial things? Handbags, makeup… Yes of course you’ll need to pay your bills and survive on food, that I’ll agree on. But what exactly are you going to do with life? Continue living like a robot till you’re old then die? Working is an exhausting thing, we can all agree on that right? It’s stressful and very troublesome. Why not get a job, something you like, so that when you wake up every morning, you’ll think, “Another great day doing great things.” instead of, “Same old day, same old things.” I’ve always thought about being a dancer but then I realized it wasn’t too realistic since I’m not even a very good dancer. Then I thought about being a lawyer, but it’s not something I really like, it’s something that will make my parents proud and it’ll make me rich. However, it doesn’t make me feel super happy, I doubt I’ll wake up saying, “Oh yay another day in the firm!” No, I won’t. But what about a pastor? I doubt there’s even a salary haha but who cares? It’s something that I like to do, it’s something that I WANT to do. Preaching God’s words and making people realize how much God has changed their lives and how much he’s done and sacrificed for us. I wouldn’t even call it a job, it’s more like a hobby in fact.
We are not robots. We were given life but it wasn’t meant to be changed this way. We aren’t supposed to be working out butts off and feeling unhappy about it. God made us. He made humans and gave us free will. Why did we change it into this horrible state? We aren’t supposed to have daily routines, and schedules. Our lives aren’t supposed to be planned out this way. We’re supposed to be out having fun doing what we want to do.
At the end of the day, “Another day of my life is gone…” NO. That’s NOT what God wanted you to think. “Tomorrow is the beginning of the rest of my life.” THAT’S what God has in store for all of us. In case you guys don’t know, God loves you, God loves each and every one of you. He wasn’t nailed onto the cross for no reason. It was to pay for all the sins you’ve made in the past and all the sins you’re going to made in the future. God. Is. Good. YOU can change your own life. YOU can change your future. Only if you believe in God and believe that whatever he does is for your own good. Believe in him, have faith in him, let him take away all your fears. Do the unthinkable and change your own life. YOU are the pilot of your own life. YOU are the only person who can take charge of it. No one else can.
Are you ready to change your future?

A trip into the past

For some odd reason, I miss Su Hyun, like a lot. Thinking back on all our good times... I still don't know how I was ever able to let that all go.
I remember during our sleepovers, she'd come over at around 11am, we'd talk a bit and start playing music then dance to it. We'd dance to Soom, Shock, Clap and Supa Luv. After dancing, we'd have lunch, cheese macaroni! We'd sit at my tiny white table in my room on the blue and red chairs. After that, we'd use the computer for awhile, watching videos of B2ST and Teentop. We'd talk, make jokes, spazz. Then time will fly till 3pm, we'll head downstairs with the CDs and my radio, we'd dance in the open space and we couldn't care less on who was watching us. Once, we danced infront of an Indian wedding. Sometimes we'd use Su Hyun's phone and take videos of ourselves dancing, we'd re-watch them then laugh at ourselves. I was really camera shy so I didn't take many photos with her, which is one of my biggest regrets. We'd play downstairs till 6pm and run back home, take a shower cause we're all sweaty. We'd sit down in my air-conditioned room and watch some more YouTube videos then my mon would bring us out for BBQ Chicken. On our way there, we'd sing random songs and say "Bam bam bam, bam bam bam bam, bam bam bam basakan~" We'd order the same things at the restaurant and Su Hyun would awkwardly eat her meal because my mom was always scolding me. After dinner, we'd go home, get ready for bed but instead of sleeping, we'd hide under the covers and chit chat till we were sure everyone was asleep. Then, we'd sneak out my computer and watch more videos till like 4am. The next morning, we'd wake up at like 9am, eat Ramen in the living room while watching videos. Dance a bit, spazz a bit. We'd also make mango pudding and eat it while watching videos.
Sigh, our sleepovers were one of the best things that ever happened to me.
Last day in MCS, Su Hyun and I spent the whole day with each other. We roamed around the school and recalled all our old memories. Walked past classrooms, cried and gave hugs to everyone. We'd sit in the canteen by ourselves and just do our normal conversations and say bye to everyone who left. We went to the bookstore and bough ourselves two markers, mines gold and hers is silver. A symbol of our friendship. Then we wrote on each other's PE shirt. I still have it and I treasure it so much. We'd stay back in school and spend our last hours in MCS in the dance room dancing away.
My life in MCS was complete because of her.
Our first concert together was B2ST's fan-meet. She came over in the afternoon and we just lazed around in my house for awhile then we went to her house. Her mom brought us to the Max Pavillion and dropped us off. We were so happy, our first time meeting our idols!!!!! During the concert, I cried so much, shouting "HYUNSEUNG HYUNSEUNG HYUNSEUNG!!!!!!" I bet Su Hyun will never forget that I cried because of an idol. I remember how we were all screaming when they started singing. It just brought back so many childhood memories that I treasure so dearly. After the concert, we met with Su Hyun's mom and headed for a Korean BBQ dinner where I tried kimchi for the first time and even after soaking it in cold water, I still couldn't stand it. I'll never forget how Su Hyun and her mom kept laughing. Then, her mom brough us for karaoke but I kept silent the whole time because I was so shy and mainly because I couldn't sing! Let alone sing Korean words. Nonetheless I had so much fun with Su Hyun that night.
During my Summer break, I spent a lot of time with Su Hyun, we watched Voyage De La Vie together and I kept snacking, I brought tiny cereal boxes and shared them with her. By the time she got home, it was already midnight. Su Hyun and I always met, in the bushman library... In J8... We went to Comic Collections (?) together and soazzed over soooo many things. I bought a One Piece wallet in the end and I'm still using it up to this very day. It's the wallet I bought with Su Hyun :')

So many memories with Su Hyun... Don't even get me started on our memories that happened before P6. There's just too many. Sorry if there are any grammar or spelling mistakes, I typed everything out on my iTouch Su Hyun, thank you so much for all these amazing memories, thank you so much for being the world's greatest best friend! You are the cutest, silliest yet most adorable tard ever! But I'm so glad that you're my best friend :'D Love you soooooo much! :')

Off & Away

Hey guys!
IT'S FINALLY THE DAY THAT WE GO TO XI ANNNNN! :)
heheheh soooo happy! Anyway, I'm not leaving the house till 11am so I'm taking my time to blog.
I don't have much to say... But to those having their exams, like the S4s, GOOD LUCK! And to all the others who aren't going to Xi An, hope you have loads of fun too! (unlikely, since we're all not there!)
I've been watching Hell's Kitchen a lot and listening to a ton of G.NA songs, sigh, she's so beautiful, she's blessed with an angel's voice :')
Junwen helped me download two games into my PSP, Patapon and Persona 3 and I swear I'm addicted to Persona 3. That's why my PSP has no more battery... But, THANK YOU JUNWEN! THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOUUUU! Indebted to you for life broski :')
Okay I'm off to download more songs to listen to on board the plane. Bye!

Preparing for the NBA ft. Jeremy Lin (Ep. 30)

HAHAHHAH I laughed so hard.

This was released on my birthday!!!!!!!!!! :)

yay for jumba + linsanity

Life keeps on going

Okay so I'm going to blog about a few things today.

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1. I realized a lot of my so-called friends... No..  accquaintences, dislike me.
Of course it happens to me in Singapore too but when those sluts bitch about it, they do it disecretly. What's saddening is how I've been insulted face to face in Hong Kong. It's almost like people here don't give a shit to your feelings. Other people's sadness seems to bring joy to them, as though it's supposed to be funny that you hurt someone? It's like, insulting people and making them feel bad is a must. There's something very wrong with SIS... In some ways, MCS and YCKSS are much better schools than SIS.

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2. I re-read my past conversations with a certain someone just now and it's quite saddening how I'm not going to be able to re-live those moments. To clear things up, I don't like him anymore. No feelings, zilch. I just miss how we used to be. I miss how I used to have someone who said the sweetest things to me, just to make my day but nah... That's never going to happen again, considering how all the guys in my grade are such awkward hermit crabs. 

"If I could have just one wish, I would wish to wake up everyday, to the sound of your breath on my neck, the warmth of your lips on my cheek, the touch of your fingers on my skin, and the feel of your heart beating with mine."

"Knowing that I can chat with you online is the only reason why i get out of bed, knowing that I'll see you in school is the only reason why I go there, knowing that you are happy is the only reason why I'm happy, knowing that you love me is the only reason why I'm still alive."

I miss the memories. Nothing more.

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3. I haven't done this for quite a logn time. Schedule of the week!

Tuesday- Cross Roads! It's to learn how refugees live and stuff. Which means no lessons! :) & I'm doing my Geography project after school. *sighs*

Wednesday- Netball match... I'm quite scared. Considering how the only good players in the entire netball CCA are Kirsten, Amelia & Yatlai. I feel so suck compared to them... They've been playing netball for so long... & Humanities evening. Up till today, I still don't know what that is. I think it's to showcase our projects? OH INTERCLASS BADMINTON COMPETITION STARTS ON WEDNESDAY TOO....

Thursday- Stupiak Netball CCA that I want to quit. I'll be ditching though, cause I have to complete my Geography project.

Friday- Dinner @ le best friend's house then RIVER!!!! :) Hehehe yayy

Saturday- Hopefully going out?

Sunday- CHURCH CHURCH CHURCH. I'm defos going this week, I don't care if I'm sick or tired. 

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4. Xi'An trip! My school organized a school trip, it's called WoW trip.

We're going to Xi'An! Whoop! We're staying in a hotel too, which means we get to eat hotel breakfast and hotel breakfasts are always the best. Rooming with Vicky & Karina! We managed to get the three-bed room. (Eh no dirty thoughts.) Hahah I'm excited for some reason. 12 more days to Xi'An yaaaay

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5. I might be leaving for Malaysia next year... Believe me, I don't want to go. I really want to stay in SIS (i think?) There are a lot of downsides in SIS. So many change is good but... I'm tired. I'm tired of constantly migrating, making new friends then leaving them one by one. Friends that are dear to me. To be honest, I wouldn't mind leaving... I'd just miss my freedom, and like a couple of friends. 

I don't know, my mind's a whirl. Sure I miss staying with my mother. And I even have a new house in Malaysia, and my room's in a Korean design, what's not to love about that? Ugh I wish my life didn't have this much bullcrap going on. I've been through enough, I don't want to go through more.

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6. Caught up on all my One Piece & Fairy Tail episodes. And watched One Piece movie 10 "Strong World" (Thank you Hui Lynn for the awesome link!) Fairy Tail episode 114 made me tear up ahhaha it was really sweet. Not sure why I even included this in a point... Anime ftw? :) 

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7. Signed up for Interclass Badminton competition. Uhm my class is again S1K (wah shit) Compeition starts on Wednesday. Signed up for 100m & 200m for Sports Day that's going to take place in April. So wish me luck? Really hope I get to win something this year, like a bronze at least ahah. Good luck to me.

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My dad's been screaming at me for 5 minutes to eat dinner now so bye :)

Happy 7th Anniversary

Haha apparently I forgot to post this too! Made this in January for my 7th year best friend anniversary with Su Hyun :) Yep, watch it & like it! All the pictures were taken a few years back so pardon me for my very weird face. Love you Chameleon! Best friends forever :')

Jesus; Our almighty saviour

I just realized that I didn't post the video that I made about Jesus so here it is.

I didn't do this so I could go to heaven. I didn't do this to get praises from my friends. I didn't do this to get compliments from people, no. I did it because God spoke to me and he wanted me to preach his word. I did this because I love God and I do what God tells me to do. God has saved the lives of many, he's suffered for many but yet all of us don't seem to realize how much God loves us. Sometimes you think God isn't there with you but whatever he does... he has a reason for it. He is protecting you. He won't tell you the reason because he good deeds don't have to be bragged about. Appreciate all that the Lord's done for you because no one loves you more than He does.

I love God.

Do you?

Valentine's Day

To be honest, I don't even know what Valentine's Day supposed to mean.

I've never experienced it with anyone.

So exactly what do people do on Valentine's Day?

Go on dates? Hold hands? Hug each other? Give gifts?

Isn't that just like... being in a relationship but just for a day? 

Valentine's Day seriously makes no sense to me... It's the so called day to confess your love to your crush right? But we're all so bloody shy aren't we? We won't dare. How easy would all our lives be if we were fearless bastards. We could just easily walk up to our crush and say,

 "Hey. I've liked you for a really long time. Be mine?" <- Like that'll ever happen. 

But you know what's even more saddening? Is that when two people like each other and they know it, almost the whole world knows it, yet they still don't want to be together. Obviously when you like someone, you want to be with that person. Or what, continue awkwardly crushing on each other? 

To all those people who are ready to confess their feelings to that special someone tomorrow (Valentine's Day) Good job to you. 

I wonder what those non-couples that have Valentines actually do. They continue life as per normal right? Go to school and awkwardly make eye contact, thinking, "Oh dear. What do I do? Do I go up to him/her? Do I say "Happy Valentine's Day"? Nono that's too awkward..." 

Shouldn't Valentine's Day be a day where people get to openly express their feelings? To ask people to go on dates with them after school holding hands and having heart to heart talks? Or is this just another fantasy of mine. Valentine's Day isn't about the roses or the chocolates, NO. It's a chance for you to tell the person you like how much you feel for them, instead of just keeping it all inside and waiting then regretting when that person finds someone else. 

Once again, I go back to my shallow-minded self.

Guys, why can't you just bloody find the courage to ask the girl you like out?

Of course guys have feelings but you know how shy girls are! We never take the first move because we're constantly waiting for guys to do it! Yeah of course it's shitty unfair but... Most girls have this mentality. 

I just wish that one day, I'll be able to experience being with someone on Valentine's Day, and not just awkwardly making eye contact. Actually going out. It'd be nice. Hah, but guys in my grade are such awkward hermit turtles (super shy when it comes to feelings and relationships) so I shall have to wait for another 3 years... And to all those people in my grade, no offence. But you have to admit that most of you are like this :P 

^ Awww so cute. Hahaha I might actually fall for a guy who does that. What am I saying, I'm out of my mind. Anyway, to those who have dates or are in a relationship, hope that you guys will have a great day tomorrow! And to those who are about to confess, you're awesome. :-) 

Happy Valentine's Day everyone x

Things you don't know

My thumb is too cool for a hi-5

If I were to date a guy,

1) He'd have to be taller than me. Not just by a bit, considering the fact that I'm already super short.

2) He'd have to love me a bit more than I love him. And that kind of a guy is hard to find, considering the fact that when I like someone, I like him... A lot. I guess what I've learnt is that, if you find someone who loves you more than you love him, the relationship's going to last a lot longer.

3) He has to take the initiative. The first move, etc.

4) Got to be older! Because then he'll probably have a more mature mind than younger guys...

You all are probably all thinking, "Holy crap Isabel is such a shallow person." Yeah yeah whatever.

I'm fine with girls being treated the same as guys and I hate it when girls whine about how their boyfriends playing too much video games but I do think that guys should be the one asking the girl out, texting her first and all those things. To those girls who are like that, leave the poor dude alone. He needs some bloody personal space. I'm not sure if it's just me but I think that if girls did all the asking out and stuff, it's quite awkward. Sorry if this offended anyone in anyway. It just feel more sweeter + natural for the guy to ask.

^^^ Those 3 are one of the main things I'd look for in a guy. Athletic ability + ability to play any instruments, (mainly the piano) are major bonuses. 

But what's most important is that I want a guy to have the same mindset as me. Up till today, I've never met anyone who's like that. Or maybe I'm just way too picky... 

How often can I find a guy who likes kpop, watches the same anime as I do, listens to 王力宏 and enjoys dancing? And I don't want a guy who literally changes his whole character just to suit me... I'd rather date someone who was himself. 

To be honest, I don't like people unless I know they like me first. I'm quite insecure... Which is why I've only liked 2 people in my 14 years of life. What amuses me most is how I'm not like a lot of girls. 99% of all the girls I know like guys with abs and 10 packs, bulging arm muscles and all but I don't. I get kind of grossed out... I mean, abs are cool. Sure. But I prefer skinny guys... Guys who actually do have muscles, but they're so skinny that you wouldn't even notice. <- Definition of 'hot' to me. I bet that you're thinking, "Isabel is so weird..." No worries, I get that a lot. 

I'd like it if a guy was sensitive and sweet. Wouldn't all girls? 

Someone who tells you you're beautiful. Who compliments you... Haha okay I'm getting all corny again. My point is, I'd really like a guy who says the sweetest of things to me everyday. Just to make sure a smile's on my face. But guys that nice are usually all taken by those lucky girls. 

To sum it all up, even if you're a guy that has everything listed in the above ^^^^ (Highly doubt so)

But you don't have a charm...

I won't like you. ;) 

Hah, yes a guy must have a charm in order for me to like him.

 And now, ending off with a few pictures that I took during ICT class in school. Such bamfs!

Me and my bast fran

Bye x

Judgemental society

We're being judged all day everyday.

Because our society is full of judgemental assholes.

Who are we kidding.

Everyone in this world judges you no matter what you're like.

Words hurt.

 It feels that nowadays, whatever you say or do.

You will get judged.

You will get insulted.

People will start criticizing you.

You wonder why some people end up cutting and committing suicide?

It's because they're so weak and fragile inside. Every single insult that they've tolerated builds up day by day and it kills them so much till one they, they just go crazy and do the scariest things.

People are never what they seem to be.

Happy on the outside, but on the inside... We're all hiding a dirty little secret.

A secret that we're all too scared to share because of the judgemental bastards of this century.

If you're skinny, you end up being called malnutritioned. If you're not, you're called fat. If you wear revealing clothes, you're automatically a slut, if you wear too much, you're weird. If you put make up on, you're a fake, if you don't, you're ugly. 

We're wondering why so many teenagers die everyday.

Why you ask?

You DARE ask WHY?

Society. Is the answer.

Society kills many.

Some people wonder why others smoke, do drugs, ink and drink till they're drunk.

But have you ever asked yourself,

Would they have done it...

If their friends hadn't said, 

"Hah. Coward."

"Loser."

"Chicken."

"Pussy." 

And you wonder why girls put on so much make up?

Because they're fucking, insecure.

And you can't blame them because YOU're the ones that's causing them to be like that.

"Ugh look at her, so ugly." <- No make up.

"Major slut, look at the make up she's wearing." <- With make up.

Seriously? What the heck does society want from us?! 

Let me ask you, is there anything wrong with people wanting to look more beautiful?

Is there anything wrong with people who want to feel better about themselves?

When people go on a diet, they don't do it just because they feel that they should. 

90% of teenagers do it because of weight insults.

Been there, done that.

Yes, I have been insulted on my weight before.

"Oh my god Isabel you're so fat now."

"Woah you gained so much weight."

"Hey, when did you become so fat?"

"Isabel's so fat now."

These thoughts are constantly being replayed in my mind over and over again. Sometimes, I can't stand it and I feel like "Fuck the world. Might as well just end 2012 by myself." 

Yes, suicide thoughts. I've starved myself a lot and because of that, I'm getting stomachaches almost every single day. My stomach growls 24/7 and it hurts so much when I go to sleep but I keep thinking, "NO. You can't eat. You're going to grow fat and ugly and everyone's going to insult you."

I'm extremely self-conscious. I want to look good. I want to be like those pretty skinny girls with super photogenic looks but I'm fucking not. I've been judged... A thousand times. Being constantly called a slut and a flirt for hanging out with too many boys. Being called a "tomboy" because I love watching football and I love sports. The fuck?

What has the world turned into?

So in my conclusion?

This society, 

HAS been.

CURRENTLY is.

FOREVER and ALWAYS

WILL be.

A society full of judgemental assholes.

Where I'd rather be

So all of you know me as a crazy ass KPOP fan. Yes, very true. But if I were to choose where I could stay, my very first choice. My TOP choice. The place that I really want to stay in, is JAPAN!!!!! I love Japanese food more than anything else. Their apple juice is AMAZING too btw and they sell ALOT of cute things and their clothes there are like, super cool and stuff. And!!! They sell anime things that you can't normally find in other countries. I went to Tokyo once with my father but I didn't appreciate it and I was an ass to him so I really regret it now. I REALLY want to go to Japan. I'm always very jealous of people who take pictures there and stuff :( Anyway I just really love Japan because they have the most TASTIEST food in the entire world. And what's better than drinking Miso Soup from its origin??? Ah Japanese food = heaven.
(p.s: bring me to eat at a Japanese restaurant if you want to celebrate my birthday with me) HAHAHA I'm just kidding. I'll eat there myself :-)
I just really super duper uber love the food in Japan. Best I've ever tasted. Looking for some place to go during Easter/March/Summer? GO. TO. JAPAN. And focus on the food, not sightseeing xD you can do that on your way to another restaurant!

My second would of course be Korea!!!!!! I COULD GO TO ANY STORE AND BUY KPOP POSTERS!!!! WOOHHOOO! But there's a lot of food I can't take there because it's spicy so... I won't get to try a lot their delicacies etc. But of course there's still going to be a lot more non-spicy food I can try! Food from Korea is like super tasty too. I would know because I went to my friend's house to eat Korean food! Whoop! Plus a lot of clothes that I but online are from Korea. And the clothes are actually really pretty :O and and MAYBE I might see KPOP stars roaming the streets and I'd be like a screaming fan girl HAHAHAH awks!

And lastly!! Australia!!!! I love that place because it's so full of nature and animals. Especially horses and I really love horses. That's the only thing I like about Australia actually. Oh the scenery is BEAUTIFUL there. Absolutely amazing.

But yeah, I would really love to move to Japan. REALLY. Going there for a family holiday trip would be fine too! One of my MUST DO(s) in life is to go to Japan when I'm older with a friend of mine, who also loves Japan! And obviously one of my MUST DO(s) is go to Korea with Su Hyun. Duh!

Anyway I sent an email to Su Hyun today and we cleared our problems... We misunderstood each other the whole time!!! Haha but we're good now! And I sent an email to someone else. It might have been the biggest mistake of my life or I might have just done myself a huge favour.
Yepp, I'm off now. Cheeri-o

Day 2; Crushes

Day 2: Write about your crush. Write anything: if you’re friends, don’t talk, it’s going great or it’s complicated.

I don't have a crush, honest. Used to, but now, no. 

Like I said in my previous post, I'm scared of liking people cause I don't want to end up with a broken heart and all. I like Cho Kyuhyun. Because he has a beautiful voice. :) 

But I'm too lazy to think about crushes and being in a relationship now because what most of you don't know... Rephrase. What all of you don't know, is that I'm really into art. Not any kind of art. My art. 

Maybe one day when I finish another piece, I'll take pictures. I already finished two really nice ones but I gave them away, sadly :( 

Aight that's the end of this post. 

I'm off to... Do art. 

bye.

Let's run away now

Hi, I just came back from Singapore. <- Reason why I haven't blogged in 10 days.
Spent 4 days in Malaysia, came back and went to USS with my cousins, mum, cousin's parents and Gordon. omb the Transformers ride was SO bloody cool. Best stimulator EVER.
Stayed at Hard Rock Hotel for one night yeaaaay :-) Then I had a gathering with my fellow YCK schoolmates. I miss them so much.. I really regret leaving YCK. I wish I could go back :'(
Anyway, I didn't get to meet up with a lot of people, Su Hyun and my neighbours for example. Paige and Nikki too. It's really depressing since I have no idea when I'm going back to SG again. And I didn't see my banana friend :(
Nonetheless, no more regrets cause I'm back in HK. I'm kinda looking forward to living in my Malaysia house, whoop?
Okay, 'nuff talk. I'm going to do a 15 day challenge! -applause-
(I don't know if I've done it before but nevermind, I'll do it again!)

15 DAY CHALLENGE

Day 1: Write 5 things that sum you up. Include a picture with 1 or more of these things.
Day 2: Write about your crush. Write anything: if you’re friends, don’t talk, it’s going great or it’s complicated.
Whatever it is, write it down. Pictures optional.
Day 3: What’s the meaning behind your URL? Why did you make a blog?
Day 4: Is there drama in your life just now with friends and/or family? Write about it.
Day 5: What are you grateful for?
Day 6: Are you a virgin? Yes/no, discuss it.
Day 7: Write about how you do your makeup/hair. Why do you do it that way?
Day 8: Write about your ideal partner in detail. Does your crush match the criteria? If no, talk about that.
Day 9: What is your definition of the word hate? Talk about 3 things you hate.
Day 10: What is your definition of the word love? Talk about 3 things you love.
Day 11: Your fears?
Day 12: Are you happy with how you look?
Day 13: Post a picture of yourself and write what you see.
Day 14: Post a picture of a friend and write what you see.
Day 15: If you could, would you rather live in the early 1900’s?

Day 1: Write 5 things that sum you up. Include a picture with 1 or more of these things.

1- I'm super super emotional, sensitive and insecure. I'm honestly not who I seem to be. Very few people have ever seen the emotional side of me or like, heard my thoughts that I never dared to tell others.

2- I haven't faced reality yet. I KNOW I haven't but I'm trying to. You see, I do things without knowing. Like, you know people get excited when they're about to board a plane or something? I don't. I just stand there and I feel like I'm a spirit just roaming around. It's really weird and scary... I feel like I'm living a dream. A very long one. 

3- Insane over KPOP. <- Doesn't everyone know? :-) 

4- I take love and relationships very seriously. I plan ahead and organize alot. When I like someone, I take a really long time to consider if they're worth liking or not. Why? Cause I'm scared that one day, my marriage will turn out like my parent's one. So I'm really, really scared to get attached to people easily. But it's quite hard for me not to, because I know some guys who can listen to all my problems and not get annoyed by my non-stop blabbering. And I'm literally crazy over musically talented guys. Especially guys who play the piano. If you're a guy and if you were playing and piano and if I walked past you, I'd be staring at you play the piano till you stop. No joke.

5- I'm always too lazy to do homework or study for exams... I'm supposed to be doing my English homework now. But.. I'm not...

I'm quite tempted to watch some shows now...

So maybe I will....

Or not...

Who am I kidding. I'm not even hardworking enough to unpack my suitcase, let alone do homework.

bye!