Change

Okay I need to take a break from blogging. But I've just been told by my senior that she prefers the Isabel she knew in 2010. The friendlier Isabel. So.. I'm not friendly now? Yeah, maybe. I miss the Isabel from 2010 too. I never used to feel out of place in MCS. Life in P6 was perfect. I had my cookie monster family, Su Hyun... Then, life took a turn for the worse. My family changed me. I'm not longer that girl you used to know. Or am I... Either way, there's too much to say. I can't change things now, can I. I've been through so much to go back to where I was before. My senior says I've changed.. A lot. So change wasn't a good idea for me?  I don't know. Life is too confusing for me. I can't please everyone. Back then in P5, I used to be such a pushover. I let people step on me, diss me straight to my face, gossip and leave me alone. But I took it in.. Just so I could have friends. I couldn't be alone again, no, not after my past. I never want to be alone again. I thought having friends meant everything, but no. Even when you have friends, you might still feel alone. If they're physically friends with you, but not emotionally, then what's the point? In the end, everything's a lie and they've been crapping on you all this while. That's how they used to treat me back then in P5. I did everything I could to be friends with them. And now here I am, thinking of how stupid I was. I let them take advantage of me in whatever way they liked and I didn't mind. What was wrong with me? Look at me now, satisfied with just one person. Su Hyun, and she has her own close friends in SG. She might have more than one best friend, but I don't mind anymore. Having her is enough. She's not physically with me but I'm glad that she's emotionally with me. Gigi too. Gigi knows everything about me, what I like, dislike, my family, my friends, crushes, stuff. She's a year older than me.. but who cares? Age was never a matter when it comes to friendship. Having all the friends in the world won't mean a thing if they're all just faking it. Some friends may ask you what's wrong when you're upset, but 1/10 of them really care. The rest are just curious, they just want to know if its a good bedtime story or the next cover Gossip Girl or something. They don't care, deep inside, they don't care.. at all. So how many true friends do you have? Honestly, I don't know. Life is too scary for me to take risks anymore. I'm afraid of opening up to certain people. I'm afraid to talk about anything now. Last night, I made a new friend and he's going through the same things as me. We don't even know anything about each other but since we're going through the same things, I feel okay to open up to him. I know he won't tell others because he knows how much it hurts inside. The only people I've truly opened up to about my love life are Victoria and Gigi. Vic went through the same thing as me so she can relate to it. Gigi.. she's serious when she's in love. Very serious, and she's an amazing person to talk to. Putting that aside now and going back to the reason why I even bothered typing this. So what if I changed for the worse. Some people find it a good way of change. But why should I care? This is my life. And all my life I've been letting my family take control of it, letting my friends step on me. Not anymore. I couldn't care less about people's opinions now, especially people whom I'm not close to. Why should I? Even if I'm not that girl whom all of you remembered me as, I'm still me. I haven't gone for plastic surgery, have I? Deep down inside, I'm still a little immature girl who wants one best friend who'll stick by her forever and a complete family. That's not too much to ask for. Honestly speaking, I get very angry when people go around self-pitying over the smallest things. Very spoilt children if you ask me. Sometimes on Facebook, I see people publicly and directly scolding others because they said something wrong. Can't you just get over it? The world does not revolve around you. Not everyone has to please you. Grow up.
And to end my post, I'll just say this to everyone who think that my change in character is bad.
I've grown up. I'm not that little kid who used to take everything in without saying anything. I take risks, stand up for myself and live life. If you can't accept it, then it's not my fault. But you might as well suck it up and live with it if you still want our friendship to continue because I can assure you, that there will be even greater changes in my character for the years to come. And I'm sure you'll change too. Think about yourself before you say anything and try putting yourself in my shoes for once. I bet you won't even be able to walk a mile without breaking down.

A picture speaks a thousand words, and this picture, says it all.