Left with no choices

Omg guys... I might be moving to Malaysia. Honestly, I don't have a choice. My mum asked me "Do you want to come to Malaysia?" IF I SAY NO IT MEANS I DON"T WANT HER SO DUH I SAID YES! Then she said, "Be ready. Anything might happen." Do you guys know what this means? 

It means I might leave SIS anytime. I might move to Malaysia anytime. I might be involved in a court case anytime. My mum might come to Hong Kong to have war with my father at anytime.

THIS MEANS, THAT MY CHILDHOOD WILL REPEAT ITSELF DURING MY TEENAGE YEARS.

Do you have any idea how critical the current situation is? Everything's happening again. What I feared most.. They're all happening again. History is repeating itself. I knew this would happen one day. I knew it. I just didn't know it would come so soon. 

Why me? First my Singapore life is taken away. Soon, my Hong Kong life. Then I'll have a new life in Malaysia. You guys think this is a freaking adventure road? No, its not. I haven't had peace for the past 13 years. And I don't think I'll be having any for the next few. Not until I grow up and lead a life of my own I suppose. My half siblings will be taken away from me. All my friends. My freedom. My life is being controlled by my parents. What am I to do. I do something, I piss one of my parents off. These are the disadvantages of being a divorced child.

You see, my mum's super mad that my dad doesn't let me go back to Singapore during my December break. He wants me to spend Christmas here for the first time, and there's nothing wrong with that. Besides, I'm already going back during January for CNY. But my mum thinks that seeing me twice a year is not enough, which is also a valid reason.

So how do you expect me to please two people? I'm not a freaking robot.

Putting this aside, I've got so much more going on in life. I don't even know what to do now. Su Hyun and Gigi aren't here. I've got no one to talk to. My life, has taken a turn for the worse.

My mum's always like "You can take a stand. You must stand up for your mother."

Yet my dad's like "Isabel, just leave the adults things alone. Don't pressure yourself."

So tell me, WHAT DO YOU GUYS WANT ME TO DO!?!?!?!!?!?!?!?!?!?

Yeah sure I'll cut my body into half and I send my first half to Singapore and leave the second half here. Will that make you satisfied? WILL IT? WILL YOU TWO STOP PRESSURING ME?

Ugh, all day everyday the both of you make me choose between either of you.

Its like choosing over life or death, except, worse. How do you expect a child to choose between two parents. Without the both of you, I wouldn't be here. BUT WITH THE BOTH OF YOU HERE, YOU GUYS MAKE ME FEEL LIKE ENDING MY LIFE.

Will that solve everything? NO IT WON'T. You two will start blaming each other "Oh look its all your fault Isabel died." OMG GUYS CAN YOU SHUT UP? Dad, its not mum's fault. Mum, its not Dad's fault.

ITS ALL MINE. 

OKAY?

NOW LEAVE ME ALONE.